Hmmm...

Ugh. I feel like absolute crap right now.

This quarter so far has been really hard for me. I haven't wanted to admit it, but I'm honestly not sure I can do it. And I'm not sure I can be an ENDT. In fact, I'm pretty sure healthcare in general isn't the right field for me.

I've been dragged so far out of my comfort zone. I get up early in the morning and go home late at night. I've been inundated with the sheer amount of material from Neuroanatomy & Physiology, and the Professor has no idea what he's doing, since he has no training or experience with teaching-- and he's also a chiropractor, so it doesn't even relate to my field. They just switched over to a new interface for the hybrid classes (which we use) and it's a complete and total mess-- nothing is working right and no one knows how to use it. So, frequently, the information on the class website is wrong, but I have no idea which is what. Very little of this is presented visually, which is how I NEED it to be to understand it. The other ENDTs mostly don't seem to like me. I'm really bad at making the electrode marks. (There are some other cons to the class, but I'm forgetting them.)

When I work in a hospital, it's going to be just as bad if not worse. I'm going to have to deal with children, which means screaming, crying, and possibly injury-- me and them. (Kids bite!) I have to worry about breaking confidentiality, which is INCREDIBLY complicated. And I have to navigate the inscrutable social rules of Neurotypicals. Not to mention the bad smells and emergency situations. (Apparently, it's actually OFFENSIVE to people to hold your nose when they smell bad. Even if it's completely awful. Wtf?!)

So, yeah, I'm thinking this was a bad idea.

EDIT: venting made me feel better about it. New resolve and all that.