The link to the new blog!
A reminder: the new blog is just me talking/rambling/babbling about whatever I fee like. It won't be very Autism-centric. In fact, it will probably be more art-centric. It will also be extremely informal. There is no schedule, no set length, and no real rhyme or reason to my subject matter other than I felt like talking about them.
The title is "From the Mind of an Oddball".
I like this title.
I guess the only thing left to do is bid adieu to those not following the new blog, and say "see you there!" to those who will.
Sayonara,
--Ilsa Kasmar
Monday, December 31, 2012
The second to last post
I almost skipped moving the blog, but since I said I'd do it today, I will make sure I actually do it.
So, the personal change I referred to in the previous post is this: I learned that trying too hard in social situations is not helpful. In fact, it makes it worse sometimes.
Social situations, to me, always felt like a quiz or a test. And I always got as nervous as I would before a quiz or test. I tried to always be "on", always work hard at being... Well, I'm not really sure. Being better, maybe.
It's not really surprising that didn't work out.
I always tried to have something to say, to not let the conversation drop, to be witty... But sometimes it's best to say nothing at all.
I guess I thought I needed to overcompensate, because of the Asperger's. (Well, just Autism now.)
I finally figured out that is doing more harm than good. And in doing so, I finally learned to just... relax. "Be myself", I guess, but I'm done trying to define what "myself" is. I guess "myself" is just what I say and do when I'm not trying to be someone else.
Whatever.
Anyways, now that I've relaxed, I kind of also accepted that I am and always will be Autistic. I'm not as angry anymore. And I don't care as much anymore. It's not the most important thing to me anymore; not the most important part of "myself".
So, that's another reason I'm shutting down Ask an Aspie/The Asperger Chronicles: I'm not thinking about it as much, so I don't have as much to say.
Though, to be honest, I think I ran out of things to say awhile ago. ^^'
So, maybe I'll post every now and again, if I have something about Autism I want to write a piece on that people will see. But for the most part, this will just stay here, floating around.
Meanwhile, if you like my rambles, that's what the new blog will be for!
So I will go set that up. :)
Thanks for reading,
--Ilsa Kasmar
So, the personal change I referred to in the previous post is this: I learned that trying too hard in social situations is not helpful. In fact, it makes it worse sometimes.
Social situations, to me, always felt like a quiz or a test. And I always got as nervous as I would before a quiz or test. I tried to always be "on", always work hard at being... Well, I'm not really sure. Being better, maybe.
It's not really surprising that didn't work out.
I always tried to have something to say, to not let the conversation drop, to be witty... But sometimes it's best to say nothing at all.
I guess I thought I needed to overcompensate, because of the Asperger's. (Well, just Autism now.)
I finally figured out that is doing more harm than good. And in doing so, I finally learned to just... relax. "Be myself", I guess, but I'm done trying to define what "myself" is. I guess "myself" is just what I say and do when I'm not trying to be someone else.
Whatever.
Anyways, now that I've relaxed, I kind of also accepted that I am and always will be Autistic. I'm not as angry anymore. And I don't care as much anymore. It's not the most important thing to me anymore; not the most important part of "myself".
So, that's another reason I'm shutting down Ask an Aspie/The Asperger Chronicles: I'm not thinking about it as much, so I don't have as much to say.
Though, to be honest, I think I ran out of things to say awhile ago. ^^'
So, maybe I'll post every now and again, if I have something about Autism I want to write a piece on that people will see. But for the most part, this will just stay here, floating around.
Meanwhile, if you like my rambles, that's what the new blog will be for!
So I will go set that up. :)
Thanks for reading,
--Ilsa Kasmar
Sunday, December 30, 2012
I am moving the blog... Tomorrow.
Yes, the title is true- I am moving the blog to Tumblr... tomorrow. I meant to do it today but I had stuff I was doing, and I am too tired right now. I mostly know this because I kept trying to come up with a name for the new blog, and nothing fit right.
Once I have it set up (which will be easy as hell, god I love Tumblr) I will have my last post on this blog be the new web address. Though, come to think of it, I think I have one last thing to post before that.
That being said, it WILL have a different name, and it won't be Asperger-centric at all anymore. It'll just be about... Well, basically, whatever I want it to. Mostly Art & Geek stuff, is my bet.
I kind of started this as a way of explaining Asperger's to people. I wanted people to hear what it's like from the inside. That's why I called it Ask An Aspie-- if you want to know what Asperger's is like, ask an Aspie!
As Asperger's no longer exists, it kind of makes sense for me to kind of end this project.
Plus, I went through a personal change where I think I finally learned some things that... Well, you can read about it tomorrow. :)
When I have the link set up, feel free to track my new blog. It'll be a lot less "thoughts on Asperger's and Neurodiversity" and more "here's the status of my life/thoughts/this cool thing I found", but if you want to read about that stuff, then hooray!
However, this blog is NOT GETTING DELETED. It's going to stay up, sort of like a digital monument, that people might come and visit from time to time. It still has some good stuff in it, after all.
So, don't worry. The old stuff will stay here, and maybe I'll even update from time to time, when I have things to say about Autism.
But this is not going to be a main blog any more. That's what the NEW BLOG will be. (And I just realized I know what to name it. Ooh, this'll be fun.)
And on that note, I'm going to go bed before I pass out and/or start sleep-blogging. (if that ever happens, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE)
See you tomorrow!
--Ilsa
Once I have it set up (which will be easy as hell, god I love Tumblr) I will have my last post on this blog be the new web address. Though, come to think of it, I think I have one last thing to post before that.
That being said, it WILL have a different name, and it won't be Asperger-centric at all anymore. It'll just be about... Well, basically, whatever I want it to. Mostly Art & Geek stuff, is my bet.
I kind of started this as a way of explaining Asperger's to people. I wanted people to hear what it's like from the inside. That's why I called it Ask An Aspie-- if you want to know what Asperger's is like, ask an Aspie!
As Asperger's no longer exists, it kind of makes sense for me to kind of end this project.
Plus, I went through a personal change where I think I finally learned some things that... Well, you can read about it tomorrow. :)
When I have the link set up, feel free to track my new blog. It'll be a lot less "thoughts on Asperger's and Neurodiversity" and more "here's the status of my life/thoughts/this cool thing I found", but if you want to read about that stuff, then hooray!
However, this blog is NOT GETTING DELETED. It's going to stay up, sort of like a digital monument, that people might come and visit from time to time. It still has some good stuff in it, after all.
So, don't worry. The old stuff will stay here, and maybe I'll even update from time to time, when I have things to say about Autism.
But this is not going to be a main blog any more. That's what the NEW BLOG will be. (And I just realized I know what to name it. Ooh, this'll be fun.)
And on that note, I'm going to go bed before I pass out and/or start sleep-blogging. (if that ever happens, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE)
See you tomorrow!
--Ilsa
Friday, December 28, 2012
Sigh.
Ugh. I am so sick of technology not working the way it should.
My iPad's browser crashes when I have more than two tabs open, or even if I'm not, especially with webcomics. No, it's not because I leave a bunch of apps running in the background, and yes, I've tried browsers other than Safari on it.
My laptop is generally slow and it has a bunch of bugs my Dad can't or won't fix. And he's basically a computer genius, so if he can't, it probably can't be done. Actually, I've lost track of the things that annoy me about my laptop.
And my iPhone, which has always been the most stable, suddenly flipped out on me today and froze. It was barely worth noticing, since it resolved itself quickly, but I'm worried that it's going to start having issues too.
If I could, I would just replace all of them. I mean, all of my technology is out-of-date anyways, by at least 2 years. (I think.) However, that would be hella expensive.
I think what I need to do is come up with a way to replace them, but make the replacements last longer.
For example, instead of a smartphone, get something like the Rugby -- which is extremely tough -- that doesn't have all the fancy stuff I don't really need. I mean, yes, I need to make calls on it, and I'd PREFER it if it could play music, but the rest I really don't need much. And as for music, I could always get an iPod shuffle or something.
And instead of an iPad and a laptop, just have a laptop. Maybe a smaller one, that is iPad-sized, and preferably a Mac. And this time, I'll actually read the manual so I generally know what I'm doing.
Because really, when I am living on my own, I'm going to have a much smaller budget. I need to plan accordingly.
I wish I could skip ahead a few years in life when I am independent, have money, and working. And hopefully, have a successful webcomic.
Because I'm pretty sure I have to go to art school, and be dependent on my parents, for a few more years.
Sure, I could do some shit job that I hate and save up enough money to move out and live on my own, but I don't think that's a great option either.
The only thing I could think of that I might like and that I could probably do NOW is storyboarding, but I'm pretty sure I'd have to move to California to do that, and finding a job would still be hell.
Maybe I could be an intern or assistant for an Illustrator here, or something. I'll ask around.
I know I've written about this probably the last 3 posts I've done, but that's because it's on my mind, and I still can't figure out a solution to it.
I'm unhappy with my life the way it is now. I mean, sure, it's break and stuff, and I love drawing TIS, (short for The Ilsa Show, because whenever I type "webcomic", it gets autocorrected to "Webcomic") but I'm looking towards the future and I'm unhappy with what I see.
I know, I know, it could be a lot worse. I probably shouldn't complain, or be unhappy about it. But this is how I feel, regardless.
I guess I have always wished the world would be perfect, or at least MY world, and it's not, and it bothers me.
I think I deserve better than what I'm getting. I deserve to be doing what I love and making money at it. And maybe I will, down the road, but that's not where I am now.
Because what I really love is drawing TIS specifically, and drawing in general. But despite the skills I already have, I know it's not enough, and it will take me awhile until I get good enough.
Being an adult sucks. :/
My iPad's browser crashes when I have more than two tabs open, or even if I'm not, especially with webcomics. No, it's not because I leave a bunch of apps running in the background, and yes, I've tried browsers other than Safari on it.
My laptop is generally slow and it has a bunch of bugs my Dad can't or won't fix. And he's basically a computer genius, so if he can't, it probably can't be done. Actually, I've lost track of the things that annoy me about my laptop.
And my iPhone, which has always been the most stable, suddenly flipped out on me today and froze. It was barely worth noticing, since it resolved itself quickly, but I'm worried that it's going to start having issues too.
If I could, I would just replace all of them. I mean, all of my technology is out-of-date anyways, by at least 2 years. (I think.) However, that would be hella expensive.
I think what I need to do is come up with a way to replace them, but make the replacements last longer.
For example, instead of a smartphone, get something like the Rugby -- which is extremely tough -- that doesn't have all the fancy stuff I don't really need. I mean, yes, I need to make calls on it, and I'd PREFER it if it could play music, but the rest I really don't need much. And as for music, I could always get an iPod shuffle or something.
And instead of an iPad and a laptop, just have a laptop. Maybe a smaller one, that is iPad-sized, and preferably a Mac. And this time, I'll actually read the manual so I generally know what I'm doing.
Because really, when I am living on my own, I'm going to have a much smaller budget. I need to plan accordingly.
I wish I could skip ahead a few years in life when I am independent, have money, and working. And hopefully, have a successful webcomic.
Because I'm pretty sure I have to go to art school, and be dependent on my parents, for a few more years.
Sure, I could do some shit job that I hate and save up enough money to move out and live on my own, but I don't think that's a great option either.
The only thing I could think of that I might like and that I could probably do NOW is storyboarding, but I'm pretty sure I'd have to move to California to do that, and finding a job would still be hell.
Maybe I could be an intern or assistant for an Illustrator here, or something. I'll ask around.
I know I've written about this probably the last 3 posts I've done, but that's because it's on my mind, and I still can't figure out a solution to it.
I'm unhappy with my life the way it is now. I mean, sure, it's break and stuff, and I love drawing TIS, (short for The Ilsa Show, because whenever I type "webcomic", it gets autocorrected to "Webcomic") but I'm looking towards the future and I'm unhappy with what I see.
I know, I know, it could be a lot worse. I probably shouldn't complain, or be unhappy about it. But this is how I feel, regardless.
I guess I have always wished the world would be perfect, or at least MY world, and it's not, and it bothers me.
I think I deserve better than what I'm getting. I deserve to be doing what I love and making money at it. And maybe I will, down the road, but that's not where I am now.
Because what I really love is drawing TIS specifically, and drawing in general. But despite the skills I already have, I know it's not enough, and it will take me awhile until I get good enough.
Being an adult sucks. :/
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
The webcomic has launched!
That's right! My webcomic, The Ilsa Show, officially launched last night. Website, Facebook page, Twitter: @TheIlsaShow.
The reason I did not post about this earlier was:
1. When the first comic was finally posted--marking the official launch-- it was 10 PM. I went to bed as soon as it was up.
2. I spent most of TODAY cleaning up and then posting some of my stockpiled comics. Yes, having a buffer (comics that you have saved up in case you can't get enough cranked out in time for the update) is important. However, I know from reading webcomics my entire life that it is hard to get into a comic when they only have 1 page up. I think I actually have 4 up, which is still not that much. So yeah, it was necessary.
3. Once I finished doing that stuff, the lat thing I wanted to do was write a blog post. I wanted to either draw more things or take a break. And I took a break, mainly because I had a sort of headache.
Anyways, I am very excited about this! I've actually wanted to do this for awhile, but it wasn't until recently that I got a nudge in the right direction.
If the comic gets popular enough, I will put in a donation thingy and move it to its own website. I really, really want it to get that popular, but these things take time.
It's actually been my dream for years to make a living via webcomickery. I'm definitely a lot closer to that now. It could take years, or never happen, but there's a chance now, at least. Yay!
To my grandparents: since I know you are reading this, I just want to warn you that the stuff I post may not be to your taste. View with caution.
I think I'm going to go draw more things now. Ta!
The reason I did not post about this earlier was:
1. When the first comic was finally posted--marking the official launch-- it was 10 PM. I went to bed as soon as it was up.
2. I spent most of TODAY cleaning up and then posting some of my stockpiled comics. Yes, having a buffer (comics that you have saved up in case you can't get enough cranked out in time for the update) is important. However, I know from reading webcomics my entire life that it is hard to get into a comic when they only have 1 page up. I think I actually have 4 up, which is still not that much. So yeah, it was necessary.
3. Once I finished doing that stuff, the lat thing I wanted to do was write a blog post. I wanted to either draw more things or take a break. And I took a break, mainly because I had a sort of headache.
Anyways, I am very excited about this! I've actually wanted to do this for awhile, but it wasn't until recently that I got a nudge in the right direction.
If the comic gets popular enough, I will put in a donation thingy and move it to its own website. I really, really want it to get that popular, but these things take time.
It's actually been my dream for years to make a living via webcomickery. I'm definitely a lot closer to that now. It could take years, or never happen, but there's a chance now, at least. Yay!
To my grandparents: since I know you are reading this, I just want to warn you that the stuff I post may not be to your taste. View with caution.
I think I'm going to go draw more things now. Ta!
Sunday, December 16, 2012
A stroke of luck
So, thanks to my friend Jeff, I now have a scanner! Turns out his family was looking to give it away for a year or two. They only reason they didn't want it was because it didn't handle photo negatives well (it didn't have automatic dust removal) so they had gotten a new one. Since I don't need it for photo negatives, I just need it for drawings, I happily took it off their hands. (For free, even!)
So yay, that's one less issue with getting the webcomic off the ground. Next week I'm meeting with Lisa (Lisa Island, of Social Bridge) and she'll help me set up the social media stuff. So the webcomic could be up as soon as next week!
Crap, I better draw some more comics! XD
But in all seriousness, I'm actually really excited. The sooner the webcomic goes up, the sooner I get more fans and such.
I'm kind of not-so-secretly hoping the webcomic gets popular enough that it ends up being my job. Or at least, some sort of supplementary income.
But most likely, if that happens at all, it'll be years from now. *sigh*
However, another ray of hope has broken through the clouds of my worries! Jeff, you see, is an aspiring filmmaker! And I have agreed to do storyboarding for him.
I'm not going to be making any money or anything, but it could lead to more things.
I had actually looked into internships for storyboarding but found that everything seemed to be in California. If I recall correctly, I posted about this earlier.
But this could be something to put on my résumé later. And could lead to more jobs.
And if I'm really lucky, Jeff will become a famous director and I'll be along for the ride. I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon, though.
What makes me happy is I can see a path now, a small trail through the dense jungle of life. Things are starting to come together.
Maybe my luck is changing for the better. (I just jinxed it, damn!) Or maybe someone "up there" heard me when I asked for help.
Or, most likely, all the hard work and drive to succeed is finally starting to pay off.
Whatever it is, I'm glad.
So yay, that's one less issue with getting the webcomic off the ground. Next week I'm meeting with Lisa (Lisa Island, of Social Bridge) and she'll help me set up the social media stuff. So the webcomic could be up as soon as next week!
Crap, I better draw some more comics! XD
But in all seriousness, I'm actually really excited. The sooner the webcomic goes up, the sooner I get more fans and such.
I'm kind of not-so-secretly hoping the webcomic gets popular enough that it ends up being my job. Or at least, some sort of supplementary income.
But most likely, if that happens at all, it'll be years from now. *sigh*
However, another ray of hope has broken through the clouds of my worries! Jeff, you see, is an aspiring filmmaker! And I have agreed to do storyboarding for him.
I'm not going to be making any money or anything, but it could lead to more things.
I had actually looked into internships for storyboarding but found that everything seemed to be in California. If I recall correctly, I posted about this earlier.
But this could be something to put on my résumé later. And could lead to more jobs.
And if I'm really lucky, Jeff will become a famous director and I'll be along for the ride. I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon, though.
What makes me happy is I can see a path now, a small trail through the dense jungle of life. Things are starting to come together.
Maybe my luck is changing for the better. (I just jinxed it, damn!) Or maybe someone "up there" heard me when I asked for help.
Or, most likely, all the hard work and drive to succeed is finally starting to pay off.
Whatever it is, I'm glad.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Blah.
Sigh. I keep trying to find the right college to get a BA in, but nowhere I look seems to be the right place for me. In Washington, anyways-- there are plenty of good schools out of state, but that's not really an option for me.
It's not like I was expecting to find the perfect opportunity ever -- well, okay, maybe I was hoping desperately for it -- but I guess I was expecting better. Evergreen was looking good, right up until I found out I'd have to MAKE my own BA. Which sounds perfect in theory, but in practice, I suspect would be insane.
I just wish I could be some sort of Assistant Illustrator for a couple years until I'm good enough to be one myself. Or, better yet, maybe the webcomic turns out to be a huge success...
Pfft! Yeah right.
(Oh god please let it be a success. Please, oh please...)
I guess I should feel lucky to have a mentor (sorta) in the Illustration field, but as far as I can figure, it looks like I'm going to be going to a college that only kinda works for four years while I work my ass off to get better, and then have a mostly useless degree. And THEN I can start doing interesting stuff.
That sounds kinda bleak to me. I guess I have my fingers crossed for a stroke of luck (or genius) that will let me skip to the Illustrating part.
I've never been able to count on good luck, and I doubt that I can take a shortcut.
Okay, okay, I know, I do have it pretty good, and everyone has to pay their dues and stuff. But... Well... It sucks.
I'm actually half- hoping that by posting about it, the wisdom of the crowd will help me out somehow. Posting stuff on the Internet is like panning for gold-- you have to sift through layers of useless crap, but there's a chance you'll find a golden nugget hidden amongst the rest.
But probably not.
Oh well. Time to go do something productive now.
It's not like I was expecting to find the perfect opportunity ever -- well, okay, maybe I was hoping desperately for it -- but I guess I was expecting better. Evergreen was looking good, right up until I found out I'd have to MAKE my own BA. Which sounds perfect in theory, but in practice, I suspect would be insane.
I just wish I could be some sort of Assistant Illustrator for a couple years until I'm good enough to be one myself. Or, better yet, maybe the webcomic turns out to be a huge success...
Pfft! Yeah right.
(Oh god please let it be a success. Please, oh please...)
I guess I should feel lucky to have a mentor (sorta) in the Illustration field, but as far as I can figure, it looks like I'm going to be going to a college that only kinda works for four years while I work my ass off to get better, and then have a mostly useless degree. And THEN I can start doing interesting stuff.
That sounds kinda bleak to me. I guess I have my fingers crossed for a stroke of luck (or genius) that will let me skip to the Illustrating part.
I've never been able to count on good luck, and I doubt that I can take a shortcut.
Okay, okay, I know, I do have it pretty good, and everyone has to pay their dues and stuff. But... Well... It sucks.
I'm actually half- hoping that by posting about it, the wisdom of the crowd will help me out somehow. Posting stuff on the Internet is like panning for gold-- you have to sift through layers of useless crap, but there's a chance you'll find a golden nugget hidden amongst the rest.
But probably not.
Oh well. Time to go do something productive now.
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